Not So Alone After All
by kaileytmarie
Summary: Knock Out just wants to be alone, but one of the new builds won't give him the satisfaction. Oneshot.


Cybertron was beginning to shine again. The Vehicons had worked tirelessly, under Bulkhead's guidance, rebuilding and clearing the debris of the war. Life was slowly taking control of the planet once more.

Sparklings swarmed the Autobot headquarters at Iacon and refugees of the old days were showing up every hour. They were home. They were finally home.

Yet there was something wrong.

Darkness. Even with the constant glow of Cybertron's living core, there was darkness.

Optimus had given himself so that life could return to their home, but even with the constant movement, noise, Sparkling games, construction, singing and dancing (a trait, more-or-less, picked up from the humans), there was something terribly dark.

He was alone.

Yes, the Autobots had welcomed him into their fold and treated him as though he had always been one of them, but he couldn't help feeling completely and utterly alone.

Starscream was no doubt sniveling at the feet of the Predacons. Megatron was last spotted wandering aimlessly through the ruins of Polyhex. Shockwave had once again gone off the radar. And Soundwave... He didn't want to think about what the silent mech had gone through.

Then there was his partner, Breakdown, who he would never see again.

He was alone.

"You okay, sir?"

The red medic jumped slightly at the voice. He looked down at the orange and yellow Sparkling and arched an optic ridge.

The little brat not only knew how to interrupt his thoughts, but there was something about the new build that demanded Knock Out's full attention. No matter how badly he wanted to shoo the intrusion away.

He grunted, not wishing to talk. About anything.

The new build watched him curiously.

Knock Out's shoulders drooped in defeat. "How do you do that?" he groaned.

"Do what, Doc?"

Anger boiled in the medic. "Why is it that no matter how hard I try to get away from you, you always find me? And how come I can't not answer your absurd questions?"

"I guess I just have one of those faces," the orange and yellow mech said with a grin. "So? What's bothering you?"

Knock Out sighed again. He wanted to leave. He wanted to transform into his vehicle mode and drive away, leaving the Sparkling in his dust. He wanted to, but he couldn't. Something about the young mech's optics kept him planted where he stood.

"I'm," Knock Out paused, searching for the right words. The words that would make him sound strong, refined and generally okay. "I'm alone." The truth then. It seemed to slip out easier every day he spent with the Autobots.

"Cybertron is reborn, I've been accepted by the Autobots, every day I find a familiar face from the days before the war. Every day I am greeted warmly by everyone around me. I'm Cybertron's Chief Medical Officer. I see the sick and tend to the wounded. I am more liked now than I have ever been in my life. I put on a happy face and talk to everyone I meet. I work when I'm supposed to and am invited to races almost every day. I am treated like an Autobot, but I am _not_ one of them! They don't understand me! They don't know what it was like to be a 'Con! They think I can fit in! They think they can help me! But they can't! No one understands that I am completely alone!"

Knock Out glared angrily at the new build, trembling from his rant. But his rage soon melted away and was replaced with sadness.

The Sparkling's face perfectly mirrored the medic's own emotion. Deep, bitter sorrow. Longing for understanding. Emptiness.

Silence fell for several long minutes as the two grounders shared each others pains. It wasn't an awkward silence. Actually, Knock Out found it to be quite pleasant. He was alone, but so was the Sparkling.

Knock Out didn't want to break the moment, but he had to. "You feel the same way."

The Sparkling smiled sadly. Nodded. "Not sure why, but the 'Bots took a shining to me when we first met."

"Hmm," Knock Out nodded. "Ratchet certainly obsesses over you when he brings the humans to visit. And Magnus..." he let the sentence trail off, thinking of how their commander was always in a fuss over the carformer if any little thing happened.

Knock Out would admit that he could _occasionally _overreact to a flaw on his finish, but Ultra Magnus would completely lose it if there was even a chance of this particular Sparkling being scuffed. It was no wonder the youngling was always sneaking off.

"I feel like they expect me to be someone else, y'know? I try to be who they want me to be, I know it makes them happy, but I end up feeling so... empty. Like I'm just a ghost from their past and nothing more."

The orange and yellow mech turned to look to his home. They were just outside of Iacon. Not many left the newly built city unless they wanted to race without rules or to just be alone. Knock Out watched him.

"I hear you, kid."

"I feel like I have friends there, but at the same time, I don't."

"I feel the same." A pause. "Have I ever told you about my partner, Breakdown?"

The sparkling smiled. "You know, Doc, we've spoken many times before, but this is the first time we've actually talked."

Knock Out shifted uncomfortably.

"I've seen Breakdown's name mentioned in the archives a few times and I'm a sucker for a good flashback. History's kind of my thing," the mech said with a smirk. "I'd like to hear more about him."

Knock Out smiled and began his narrative of how he and the hulking brute first met. He laughed when he spoke of how timid his partner could be, "Not a good trait if you wish to join the Decepticons, mind you."

He told of how he had taught the big lug about medicine, bindings, dissecting, detaching and reattaching limbs, and, of course, how to buff out the deepest of scratches.

"Keeping a glossy finish had never been so easy," he exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air and gesturing to his body. "Have you ever seen such exquisite detail? Maintaining a perfect image, such as mine, is by no means a walk in the park!" He smiled to himself. "And Breakdown never complained about having to help me buff. He was always so eager to assist me in whatever task I had."

"Sounds like you and him were close."

"Like brothers, Sparkling."

The medic continued his stories for several hours, acting out certain stunts, laughing at past blunders, clenching his fists at the tortures they suffered. Sometimes he just stood in silence as the waves of guilt and sorrow swept through his mind.

The Sparkling laughed with the medic. His optic ridges furrowed with the tortures. When Knock Out could not speak, the youngling stood by him, sharing his pain once more.

"I wish I could have met him."

Knock Out nodded. "He would have liked you." He noticed how dark everything had gotten. The moons were out and shining bright. "It seems our first real conversation has lasted an entire day, Sparkling. You had better get back to Iacon before Magnus sends out a strike force to look for you."

The new build's head dropped. "It's probably to late for that," he muttered.

"Oh, come now. It's not like you've gone MIA. They know you left for a drive, right?"

Silence.

"Sparkling?"

"Doc, if anyone understands what I'm going through, it's you. I feel like I'm living in a cage there! You have _no idea_ what I went through to get away for a few minutes!" The mech crossed his arms in a bit of a pout. "I'm totally alone there."

"I know, kid, and I do understand, but you and I simply have to accept that we can't be ourselves there. I have a history that has to stay buried and you... Well, I don't even know why-" and then he saw it. It was in the shoulders. In the way the sparkling shifted his weight from pedde to pedde. It was the glow in his optics. He saw what the Autobots saw and was speechless.

"Doc?"

Knock Out shook his head. "Right. As I was saying, we both have our roles to play, at least for now. We have to be who they want us to be because," the optics. "Because they are still not ready to fully accept who we are."

The sparkling nodded. "And who are we, Doc?"

"We... We are different. We are different and we are alone." The new build had a lot of potential. "We have a lot of potential, but Cybertron isn't ready for us." He placed a servo on the Sparkling's shoulder. "For now, we are alone."

Those optics. They shone brighter than the moons, bore into him, searching, yearning for something. "Alone."

"Alone."

The sparkling nodded and turned to leave.

"Wait!" Knock Out called. "I don't actually know your name."

The Sparkling smiled. "Name's Rodimus."

"Nice to meet you, Rodimus."

"Nice to meet you, Doc." He turned away again.

Knock Out stepped forward. "You know, my friends call me by my name. Knock Out."

Rodimus spun around, servo extended. "And friends call me Hot Rod."

"Hot Rod," Knock Out said, shaking the servo.

"Knock Out," Rodimus smiled back. "Race you back to Iacon?"

The medic snorted. "Just don't start crying when you see my tail lights fading away in the distance."

"That won't happen, Doc Knock," Rodimus smirked. "Your headlights will be in my rear-view the whole time."

"One-Two-Three-Go!" the Aston Martin yelled while transforming and speeding toward the city.

He watched as the Sparkling did the same, quickly gaining ground behind him.

Knock Out's world suddenly seemed a little brighter. Perhaps he was not so alone after all.


End file.
